I’m Terrified

I’m setting out to do something that I fear. I’m working to get to where I want to go. And it terrifies me. Over the summer I am taking the maximum allowed credits. Twenty-one. Most of my classes are online and I’m nervous to begin classes that have so much weight in a format that I don’t like. Not only that, but I have to do good. I need to succeed in these classes to the point that I am an overachiever. To many people this will be silly and unnecessary. They will tell me I should just complete my associates degree before transferring. But I don’t want to do that. I want to get the majority of my course work done on the campus that makes me feel accepted and wanted. I want to be pursuing my dreams with people that I care about and that care about me. Some people are telling me that where I want to be is too pretentious or that I’m not preppy enough for it but then I have others who tell me that I would fit in really well there. I’m even mistaken for a student there all the time. With a split group of support, I feel uneasy that this would be the concern. I’m nervous about so much that I feel queasy about education for right now. It’s leaving me terrified.

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