**Please Note that this poem might not be suitable for everyone. It contains the following sensitive subjects: self-injury, rape, suffocation, and suicide. **
Tiny Towns- November 26th, 2016
The pavement is cracked.
The stores are tired.
We live in a two step town.
The streetlights flicker as the sun rises up and the streets are frightfully quiet.
As we line up to run we start to see the sun and the town looks more grim and old.
The change that some want others can’t stand and they don’t know how to respond.
The 5K starts and we start to run and try to win the race.
My heart starts to flutter and mind starts to stutter as I look at the places I’ve known.
The place I had my very first kiss and the place where I started getting sad.
The places that I loved to eat until the sight of food made me gag.
My legs grow heavy as i see the many places that have grown so foreign to me.
Where I went to my first dance and got my first lead and where I started to bleed.
The memories were crashing until at last I couldn’t even try to breathe.
This two step town is suffocating me and I can do anything but run.
I run until my lungs can’t feel becoming numb as my heart tries to heal.
But the scars have reopened and my heart starts to bleed as the memories start to impede on my freedom and speed.
My gait starts to slow as I run out of air and I start to taste the darkness of the pale morning light.
The finish line is nearing but I can’t try to hear as someone calls my name.
My mind is getting louder and the cool winter showers are making it hard to see.
There’s a glint in my pocket and a thought that suddenly rockets right out and into my head.
The one clear sound shocks me until I can breathe and the glint is now in my hand.
The two little lines that I’ve drawn on my skin makes everything come into perspective.
This two step town is trying to kill me and I’m trying to get out not dead.
My heart is pounding and the feelings are confounding me leaving me filled with dread.
I wonder if anyone else has lost sight and knows what it feels like to be dead.
The town is making me sick and I can’t quite restrict any other feelings that I have.
The feelings overwhelm and I know that soon I’ll finally be free to go.
But first one more trip down memory lane will send me right over the edge.
I said no, I cry, as we drive right by where my friend had left me alive.
Alive to suffer the mental repercussions of a man not knowing “no”.
My body begins to shake as I see firsthand the place where he took me.
It’s a sorrowful reminder of the reasons that I left and can’t handle the days of dread.
Those days that now lay ahead as I try and heal again.
My heart beats faster as we drive right past the places I tried to die.
All of the memories coming after me and the words that spew through my head.
Delectable, ripe, ready to pick, a cherry that soon will be mine.
What do you say to me slut, call me daddy, call yourself mine.
I own you and you know that I can’t wait to have what is mine.
Take off your panties, take off your clothes, hurry up now it’s time to go.
You have to go back to school soon, but now it’s time to learn a lesson.
A lesson in how to pleasure a man and remember, you can’t say no.